i cried

full of anger, for the people who used me

mournfully, for the times I laid rest

on the grave of my long lost grit

sobbing, snot and tears together

fearfully, as I have nowhere to go

no projects

no future plans

nothing

.

.

void of nothingness

as i live my life emptily

i cried

hoping it would water

the dead dreams I had

dreamer, wonderlust

i cried.

tired of the unending routine called life

if this isn’t the last

let me know how to live this one

so i can finally be free from the cycle

let me live..

so I don’t have to do it anymore.

‘life is exhausting’ tired is coming at me again.

ayoko na talaga, universe.

hey, self..

It has been quite a while since we had this kind of peace. It’s always troubling whenever we are in a situation we are not that comfortable and just trying to survive with everything. You have moved past this school year.

Truly one of the hardest ever but you survived.

You lived. You tried to live through everything.

We had a lot of breakdowns and nights where we just want to end things but I’m glad we have push through all of it. We have an idea of what will happen next year but I hope you take whatever you learn this year.

Set boundaries.

Choose youself (sometimes. yes, it’s not selfish).

Regain your physical strength.

Make people see and recognize what you do.

God will provide and delivers to those who will work for it.

We will survive next school year. We are claiming it. We will survive.

3 weeks of exhaustion

I finally cried for 30 mins today. Fucking frustrations on how I could’ve been better only if I had enough time to rest and think better. Akala ko kaya ko mag-uwian from San Juan to Taytay. Di pala talaga. Every day na lang akong may suicidal thoughts. I just want to end things. I just.